No more Irish car bombs ever.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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