No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
