I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
