and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
