so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
