Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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