your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
