Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
