Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
