Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
