Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
