Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
