all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
