I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
