you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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