Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Are we still banned from the library?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
