We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
