My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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