What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
