what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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