i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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