You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
