I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
