do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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