who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
