Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
