before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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