nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
either way he was missing a nipple.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
