I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
