if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
