sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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