dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
