if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
