tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
