he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Randomize
