Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
