I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
We left an ass print on the piano.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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