I'm going to jail i love you
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
