well I can't set my house on fire every night
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize