my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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