I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
