Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
The beer is more important than you right now.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Randomize
