we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
