nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
