Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
