So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
