i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
