I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
