so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
You smell like stripper and shame
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
