Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
